As related in my last post, Diet is THE Four Letter Word, the plan was to buy grass-fed beef liver, cook grass-fed beef liver, and actually eat grass-fed beef liver. The resulting burst of energy I would feel from eating liver would leave me feeling young again, renewed, invigorated; only if I actually ate it though. Okay, I thought. You can do this.
But after my last post there must have been a run on grass-fed beef liver at the local Publix grocery store. All they had left was antibiotic-free chicken liver. Beef liver, chicken liver, veal liver, bear liver, what difference does it make as long as the animal lived naturally and wasn’t plugged with chemicals? Plus, the big plus, any liver making mistakes could be eaten by my Border Collies.
Have you ever tried to cook liver with dogs underfoot? Because if anything will get four dogs off the sofa it’s the aroma of liver permeating every molecule of air in the house. I could hear the canines sniffing so hard they were gulping for air. Four Border Collie minds were telepathically sending me the image: “Drop the liver, lady, or the cat gets it!”
The Internet said to cook tons of bacon (which was not the organic kind-oops), add onions as well as tons of garlic and herbs, and sear the small cut up pieces of liver. At this point even the cat came over and sat on the bar stool in curiosity.
The animals watched me closely as I slid the liver from the pan onto my plate. Standing by the sink surrounded by drooling black and white mouths I took my first bite. All I can say is that if this were the Food Network’s TV show, “Chopped”, my butt would be the first to walk down the hall of shame. I ate each piece like it was a real live insect-infused dish similar to a scene from another TV show, “Fear Factor”. If I finished the meal I could move on to walk on the narrow swaying bar two-hundred feet in the air and win fifty-thousand dollars. So I persevered. But the dogs were inching closer, now steely eyed and licking their chops. The cat was getting nervous. It was time to give out samples. At least my culinary skills made someone happy, as each dog wolfed down their meager piece of liver (with onions removed). Then I heard one dog blissfully yowl, and they licked my fingers as they each returned back to their chairs to dream of bigger dishes full of liver.
The cat started to purr so I offered her a sample. She sniffed it, backed up, curled her nose and walked away. Yeah, I thought, that’s about the way I feel, Essie. No doubt about it, I’ve been chopped.