Loners Aren’t Necessarily Lonely


Loners like me are rare birds, who some view as dancing to the beat of a different drummer.  Many like me were poorly socialized as children, or military brats with no childhood roots, or were raised by parents lacking the social skills themselves and therefore unable to teach ‘How To Be An Outgoing and Normal Person 101’.

For whatever reason the end result for me has been the knowledge early on that to survive I had to entertain myself and thus developed interests in reading, writing, horseback riding, dog training, hiking, and biking, all activities that can be enjoyed as a solitary person.

It’s not bad being introspective when young.  It’s not good to end up being somewhat socially inept as an adult.  But loners often find inner strength.  Loners listen and watch their more outgoing associates and learn to survive.  When you only have yourself to depend on you gain strength and eventually a voice.  But sometimes that voice does not fit in with the crowd.  Sometimes loners see shades of blues and reds where others see black and white.  We find ourselves cast out even as adults.  In reality we’re not dark people, scowling and angry, in fact we are happy to beat our drum of self-worth as each day dawns, alone.

Loners like people and have friends but not in large doses.  While walking in a downtown crowd we’ll feel the urge to kick up our heels and gallop on horseback away from the cacophony of human conversations,  endless opinions and foolish judgments.

It wouldn’t surprise me to hear that people who are nervous around loners are actually green with envy.  A loner can come and go at a whim, can laugh at her own jokes, have long quiet moments cuddled up silently next to a dog or sit precariously on the edge of the Grand Canyon, enjoying its beauty and ethereal statement alone.

Loners can laugh like a loon or sob tears from the depths of their soul, alone and without embarrassment.  A loner is stoic, quiet, often having entire conversations in her mind, often laughing  while the outgoing, loud people make fools of themselves.

A loner is an outcast who doesn’t care if she’s categorized as different.  A loner knows that she’s being pitied and cares not, for she is the one pitying others.

Loners are happy people too.

Loners are beautiful inside.

Loners die alone.  Did I just write that?

To quote Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “Ay, therein lies the rub”.

One thought on “Loners Aren’t Necessarily Lonely

  1. It has been said that, “we all die alone.” What is there to worry about? We all die. I would like my dog to be with me at the end. Sometimes, I see myself as the loner, the “lone wolf,” so to speak. But I also enjoy my “with people” activities and being the comedian. Keep me away from crowds. -Cody’s Dad


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